You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
