Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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