p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
