that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
