TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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