The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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