I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
