Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
