he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
