i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
