mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
