Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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