I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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