porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
