I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
