i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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