dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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