OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
