I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
