I feel great
I just peed on a car
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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