no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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