I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
