my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Of course I have a pirate flag
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
