she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
