I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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