Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
