Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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