using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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