Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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