Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
