he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
