you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize