i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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