Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
