do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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