walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
