its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
did i walk over a car last night?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
