She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
