people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
