Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
