Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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