Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
