We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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