alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think my moral compass just broke
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
