I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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