I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
