I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
it glows. i had to have it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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