he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
