Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
