apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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