Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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