everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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