I think I am morally bankrupt
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
