The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
