You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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