well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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