Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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