Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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