her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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