I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We're too hungover to prance.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
