I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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