So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
