brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
