my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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