Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
