Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
