Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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