We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
