You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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