I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
