New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
