I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
