I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I FOUND THE LEGS
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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