it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
