Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Who died my cat blue again?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
