Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
