I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
