I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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